and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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