I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
