Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
