The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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