Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
