OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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