Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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