Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am one with the molecules
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
