Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
