Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
