New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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