Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
