Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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