why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
