I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
