I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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