I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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