Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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