White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
