I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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