He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
