everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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