Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
