the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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