if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're like the curious george of whores
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
