Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
