i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
