I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize