At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
