5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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