yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
