You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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