I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
