distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
