watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
