We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
