I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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