just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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