I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
