Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
