don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
