Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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