I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
