The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
