butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
