I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
