Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
