Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
