Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His hands were made for my vagina.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize