a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Someone came in the potted fern
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
