Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
