You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
