Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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