I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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