I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
