I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I need moral support for this bender
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize