So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
