Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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