Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
